Long day today and closed by myself . . . again. I don't feel like crap, though. Not as much, anyway.

Little disappointed that The IT Crowd has apparently made it's run on IFC and they're not showing eps anymore. I guess I'll have to look into getting the boxset.

A lot diappointed that my "Best of HYDE" boxset is still not here yet. On a slightly related note, why the hell did our mail not arrive till well after 7pm today? Lazy postal workers.

At least I got a new nifty set of items on Gaia. Hee. Deer legs and antlers.

Also came up with a name for the store in the gen-fic book I want to write. It makes me feel productive-like.

I think I'm going through a depression phase again. Around people, I'm active and laughing, but it sometimes feels hollow. When I'm at home, I just feel sad all the time. I know work hasn't been the best environment lately with an incompetent supervisor and a slightly insane manager... not to mention all the customers. I haven't been procrastinating on the things that really matter to me like my novel and all, but I don't have as much drive to work on them other than the 30 minutes I get after I'm done eating on my meal breaks. I'm also tired and achy all the time and just want to sleep constantly. I hate feeling like this.

I wish I could just call in sick tomorrow.

Finished chapter 3 with close to 31.5k words.

Seriously, I need to stop procrastinating so much on this. Tomorrow, though, I start chapter 4.

Now I need sleep.

I just noticed (observant person that I am) that the new Resident Evil game is set in Africa. I kinda think someone should give David Wellington some credit for coming up with that idea first in his book Monster Island (first of his Monster Trilogy... which is about zombies, not monsters). Honestly, though... how many zombies are they going to really find on the Serengeti?


In other news, I cleared the hump on the fight scene that was giving me trouble. I found a good work around on letting them both get out of the fight without killing each other or going against their natures. Now to just wrap up the chapter. I'm just shy of 30k words, too. It makes me an itsy bit sad that I've been writing this thing for nearly a year now, and I've only got three chapters to show for it. I should be much further along.


Also, I don't care what game it is, quests that involve needing to kill/rob/ect a rare spawn suck. Sneaking into the enemy faction's capital city to have a chat with their weapon master will be easier than sitting around waiting for 8-10 different rare spawns to show up across a rather large zone. On the plus side, go Team Wolf Robe!


I hope my VAMPS single gets here soon.

Updated to add: 30k, bitches.

Damn that addictive game. It's too fun. Even when I don't have quests on there, I've got something to do.. like riding the wildlife to new and interesting places. That sounded a bit dirty.

Tomorrow, I shall finish chapter three (I hope) and maybe my main character won't fight with me about killing off the guy he's currently in a fight scene with. I think that's why it's taking so long to finish this... I don't want the other guy, even if he's a lesser character, to be killed off yet, as I need him for at least two more chapters... but I'm not sure how to get him to escape without going against his nature to destroy what he sees is a monster... and to not go against the main character's nature to fuck up people that piss him off. Other than that, the fight scene is going well. I don't think I'm good at writing that stuff, but I'm pleased with how it's going. It's hard to write something where two characters square off, knowing that one is way more over-powered than the other and still having it be a sort of fair fight.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow.. which might be why I'm still up at this hour. *sigh* That which is my life. At least I'll be home early and can go do some grocery shopping and do laundry.

Oh! And the new single by VAMPS will be here soonish. I must remember to order the new Mucc album, too... and the one album from Dong Bang Shin Ki I've been wanting for awhile.

I should be write here more often. I don't feel like going into everything, but here's a recap:

-switched departments at work. Get to come home earlier.
-hate working at that place. Customers are stupid and whiny asshats.
-Jimmy is our dept. manager now. Not fond of him, but getting along better.
-almost finished with chapter 3 of my novel. 29,415 words.
-work makes me too tired these days. Have become apathetic.


Maybe I just need a new place to work, somewhere less frustrating and more rewarding. Not sure if that will be an easy find in this economic nightmare (thanks, Bush), but there has to be something out there that's not retail that would make me feel less... unhappy.

Kamraun has mentioned during our writing discussions (I've convinced him to write a novel, too) that he hopes I manage to publish the book and won't have to work there anymore. Jimmy, oddly enough, said something similar.

I've also considered writing a general fiction book about working at dead-end retail monstrosities like Fry's and other places like it.

15.3k words on the novel.

...or perhaps, more appropriately, guys at work.

What the hell, guys?

Okay, here's what's up, as far as I can tell: There's the boy (whom I've previously mentioned), Nate, Chris, and Jimmy. Yeah.

The boy is pretty easy to sort out. I like him, he knows this, but we're just friends. He's moved departments and we still see each other around the store. I need to see if we're still on for Thursdays for if it'll just be me and H meeting there at 'bucks now.

Chris works in my department and we're pretty much best buds. When he's there, we do just about everything together if it's possible. We banter and kid around a lot, too. His favourite thing is to keep ruffling my hair or patting me on the head, because I'm shorter than he is.

Nate works in the computer department and he's pretty cool. We usually talk at lunch or if I happen to see him around the store. We were suppose to go to a movie this weekend, but that didn't happen because his car was acting up. He went to lunch with me and Chris yesterday, because we all happened to have lunch scheduled at the same time, but he didn't say anything much. I don't know if he was disappointed Chris went, too, or not.

Then there's Jimmy. He's the department manager for A/V and definitely spends a good deal of time flirting with me. His new favourite thing is to keep asking me to marry him. I'm not sure what to think there.. he's the one closest to my age, but he's also a boss. Probably a situation to avoid.

Then there's the random teasing from other guys I know around the store... like Cesar coming up and ruffling my hair one day and going on about how he likes how soft it is. Wtf?

I do have friends that are girls, really, but somehow I always get stuck hanging out with the guys at work. *shrug*

So, the other night I was watching Distubing Behavior and remembered how much I loved a ton of songs off the soundtrack.. which got me thinking about how much I really liked music from 1996-2000. That was a rather definitive point in my life and those songs from that time were pretty meaningful to me in some way or other, whether dancing in my friend's room to Semisonic's "Closing Time" or singing along to Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" on a weekly trip to the mall or listening "3am" by Matchbox 20 while on a date with the boyfriend.

I never thought much about how we build our own soundtracks to our lives, but I suppose it's true in a way. So, I'm downloading songs from those four years of my life right before I moved, the four years when things were really good for me between my graduation and things going so downhill with the boyfriend at that time that I had to move and start my life over. Those four years were pretty awesome, though, with college, working at the theatre, and hanging out with my friends. I never really get nostalgic for my life before I moved, but sometimes... sometimes I think back and remember some of the good times and wonder about what my friends from then are doing now.

Went to Starbucks for the usual Thursday stuff, since I felt better this morning. I called the boy before going to see if he wanted to meet earlier and go to the bookstore, but he didn't, so I was like "well, see you at 11, then" and went back to bed for another 30 min. I finally got up there and he was sitting in the usual place, writing in a notebook. He let me leaf through it... apparently it was a lot of songs he'd written. The guy has some talent.

Since H never showed, me and the boy just talked about music, his country of birth, ghosts (why we always end up having one conversation about supernatural stuff is beyond me), and his promotion to the software department at work and how much he hopes he can still do the Thursday thing. After awhile, he asked me to come outside with him on the patio area, then got his guitar and played some songs for me to give him an opinion on. I helped him tweak one of them he liked a lot.

Three hours of hanging out with him alone, and it still didn't feel like enough time. Stupid crush.

Once I got home, I went through some crates of clothes in the garage, seperating out stuff I wanted to keep and things to donate. I finally found a lot of shirts I'd been missing. My grandmother says I put them out there.. but I sure as fuck didn't. Why would I put some of my favourite clothes outside in the musty garage to get all nasty-smelling? No, what really happened is she went through the closet while I was on a trip and packed stuff up she deemed "winter clothes" or just didn't think I wore anymore without asking... and then forgot she did it. It's the same reason we have 5 frozen dinners in the freezer that I won't eat because I don't like them and didn't buy them.. but she's convinced I did.. even though she bought them and doesn't remember. *sigh* Granny. u.u

Still, three hours with the boy and getting a dent made in the numerous clothes I need to sort through isn't too bad of a day.

I got the missing paycheck finally and that mess is sorted out.. and hopefully will never happen again.

Today, though, I got sick somehow. I don't know what it is, but my stomach is really upset. I managed to stay at work till lunch, but I was like.. "peoples, I'm throwing up every hour. Can I just go home?" and they let me. I'm sure it's got something to do with a funky combination of hormones and sinuses. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

I called the boy and--shock and surprise--he actually answered the phone. I told him I was rather surprised he answered and he was like "yeah, I'm answering my phone more now" and I asked if it's because I yelled at him for never answering, and he replied with "maaaaybeeee.." So, I told him to give me a call early tomorrow (which he'll probably forget... memory of a goldfish, that boy has) to let me know if he wants to meet at Starbucks earlier than usual and go to the book store with me.

Ah, the bookstore I use to work at, actually. I went there yesterday with my bestest bud (for reals.. she is the Zim to my GIR) for the first time since I was let go from there (8 months ago). First person I saw was John.. who ended up talking with me for about 10-15 min or so. I missed talking to him.. and wish I'd gotten to talk to a few others. It's a bit awkward going there, but I admit, it's a great place to shop for books... if only they had the book i was looking for.

I think I'll go lie down for a bit now... tummy's kinda upset again.

After work let out last night, Melissa and I decided to wait with Jessica till her ride got there--safety in numbers and all that. While we were waiting, a little stray kitty appeared near us, so we all started calling to it, 'cause it was cute. :[

While we were doing this, Daniel, one of the supervisors, drove up and wanted to know if one of the guys was still there, but we told him the guy had left already, so Daniel started to drive away and we resumed calling for the kitty. Daniel stops the truck and backs up and is all, "what?" We all look at each other started laughing and told him, "We weren't calling for you. We were calling for the cute little kitty over there." He got all huffy, shook his head, and drove off really fast. Clearly he was jealous of the cat.

I went to the bank this morning to talk to them about this stop payment thing and found out it was on a paycheck from two weeks ago. The bank gave me a statement and off I went to my job to see what they had to say on it. The long and short of this is.. no one knows what exactly happened to make it come up with a stop payment. My employer is going reissue the check to me, though, and even covered the $20 overdraft fee my bank charged me. Nice of them, eh?

Also, today was Associate Appreciation Day at work.. which meant the store manager and asst. store manager were out in the mobile installation garage grilling up burgers and hot dogs for all the employees. Telling employees at my job that there's free food is like throwing raw meat in a tank of piranahs. Since I had to pretty much be there all day, I went ahead--being an employee--and got me some free food for lunch, which I ended up eating in the breakroom with Chris.

After lunch, I went on over to Starbucks and caught up with the boys for the usual hanging out before they go to work thing. We mostly listened to music and talked about bands. Through it all, I managed to tell the boy that I like him (H. went to the restroom to give us a moment to talk, bless him) and we had a short discussion over it. I'm not sure how this will change things, but well.. I feel a bit better with it out there now.

When they went to work, I followed them back to the store to take my certification test. After the dept. manager in charge of the supervisor card to clock in (needed it since it was my day off) fussed over me being out of dress code... on my day off.. we finally got me settled with the test... and then chased out of the training room ten minutes later for some department's meeting. I sat down by the door and continued taking the test while the supervisors found an empty room. I got the test done, though. I don't know how I did. I have to make 95% on it and I know there was some stuff I definitely missed, not to mention the rest of the stress going on.

I went by the bank again after leaving work to talk to them one more time (it's how I found out my employer covered my overdraft fee) and the guy helping me with my paycheck problem thought it was funny that I'm reading War And Peace for fun. He's kind of cool, actually. I'll have to figure out his name and be sure to ask for him if I ever have other problems.

I also got in some teasing on Miguel today, too. He cracks me up. He asked me why I was there on my day off and I told him, "well, I just love this place so much... I had to come here and harrass you." He laughed and was like, "okay.. harrass away."

I'm gonna go try and get some rest now. Damn, it's been a long day. Mostly it was a big ball of suck... but a few good things did happen to make up for it, I guess.

Haha, yeah I don't even know. I went to buy some stuff from where I work after I was off the clock and my co-worker was all "it's declined. Insuffecient funds." Now, I know what I spent last night at CDJapan (damn that addiction I have to Hyde) and I had over $100 left in the bank afterwards, more than enough to get the items I actually needed from work. So, looking particularly lame, I passed on buying stuff and came home to check the bank statement... only to find that for some strange reason, my employer did a stop payment on something I never recieved from them, meaning they took over $150 from my account, leaving me overdrawn by more than $45. What the fuck, job? So, I changed from comfy at-home clothes into I'm-not-at-work-but-still-have-to-be-around-normal-people clothes and headed back to the store (luckily, I only live 10 min away) and no one there could figure out what the stop payment thing was. I have to go back tomorrow (on my day off) to talk to the person in charge of the audit dept. to see if she can figure it out. Good thing I already have to be going there for something else.

I don't really care what the reason is at the moment, I just know that there's money taken from my account that shouldn't be.

Migraines suck. I had to call in today 'cause of it, which means I can't do my certification test till Wednesday. Mostly it's gone now, but I still feel a little pressure. I blame the ginormous rain and my asshole neighbors. Because I can.

In other news, Betty Crocker now makes instant mashed sweet potatoes, and they're fucking delicious.

They hooked up one of the giant LCD tvs at work with Rockstar... right so it's the first thing anyone sees walking in. There was a huge crowd the entire day around it, but not of customers--no, it was all fellow employees on their breaks or off the clock. I walked by it probably twenty times and everytime, it was always a group of employees playing, with customers watching. Sometimes I really love my job.. and the nerdiness of my fellow co-workers.

In other news, I wish beating someone with a stapler would get help get clues through their thick skull.

Or that killing your neighbors for playing their fucking music at 4am was legal. I bet if I was sitting out in the yard, playing loud japanese rock music, the cops would've been at my house hours ago.. but because I'm in a predominately hispanic neighborhood and my hispanic neighbors are playing hispanic music, it's fucking hard to get the cops (who, if I remember right are suppose to be keeping the peace.. which includes not having people disturb it) out to tell them to knock that shit off. Damn neighbors. I don't feel like working till midnight and then having to stay up all night because I can't sleep with that music playing, which can be heard clearly in my house over the tv.

Sometimes I think we just have too much fun at work. I had to do a "vanna" shift again today, and again Miguel just waved back when I waved to him to get the next person. This time he was just messing with me, which is fine, 'cause he's my favourite supervisor and it's fun to tease each other.

Melissa closed with us tonight--first time she really had, I guess--and I hit my cheek with a gift certificate, getting it from a cusomer, and was all, "I just papercut my cheek. That's awesome!" and she started laughing and was telling the guy on the other side of her what I said. Later I was running between the break room and the registers, to get my debit card so I could buy her and myself some drinks, and she was telling Miguel that I was cracking her up, and he replied with, "Yeah, she cracks me up every week."

Also, I ended up with Chris' class ring. He took it off and put it on the counter at my register, so I grabbed it and put it on, then started teasingly keeping it away from him, because Chris and I always banter with each other, and he said he'd come back later for it, but continued hanging around my register, not trying to get the ring back, but just doing our usual banter. I ended up putting the ring on my necklace so as not to lose it... and told him he'd just have to come get it on Sunday at Starbucks. So.. I still have it. I think I'll wear it tomorrow on my necklace and see it the boy (and I don't mean Chris) notices it or asks about it.

Also, Miguel is now known as The Pimp Supervisor.

Stupid boy, stop being so confusing.

So, as I walked into work today, I got a nice suprise. Cool Scott--who use to be regular customer at my last job, and yes, we always called him Cool Scott--was shopping the CDs and DVDs, so I was all "Hey!" and we talked for a bit. He said he's boycotting the place I use to work at after I got (kinda unjustly) fired from there. How's that for customer loyalty? Anyway, he gave me his number so we can keep in touch.

Also, I think my sarcasm and goofiness is rubbing off on my favourite supervisor. We all take turns doing what we call "vanna" and it's when we pretty much direct traffic, telling the customers which register is open. At the end of our "vanna" shift, we're suppose to wave at the supervisors to let them know to send the next person. Well, my shift ends and I happen to look at my supervisor right as he looks in my direction, so I wave... and he waves back with this big grin. He's so use to me being bouncy and silly, he figured I was just being a dork. Sigh.. supervisor. u.u

I definitely think I have a good wrap up for my first chapter. I think I'll try to focus the second chapter on the other main character a bit more. I need to print out another copy of what I have, too. Another guy at work wants to read it now and the guys that have been reading it, some of them want the updated copy.

Wondering if I should bother to make CDs for the usual Starbucks Adventures, too. My grandmother has a doctor appointment tomorrow, but it's late in the day and I can still make it for a bit at 'bucks before taking her over to the doctor's. She's thinking about cancelling the appointment since she doesn't really feel like going (not that she feels bad, she just thinks it's a waste of time). I think her doctor is a quack that doesn't know what he's doing.. and I'm not alone in those thoughts, but she doesn't want to change doctors, so.. *shrug* I guess I'll make the CDs and if not this week, then next week. I need to get some new blank CDs sometime, too.

I finally hit my writing stride tonight and just now realized the time. I hate when that happens, finding just the words I want to say and then having to stop because I work the next day. At least I got to 12.2k words tonight and am almost done with the first chapter. The novel is definitely taking shape and I'm loving how the characters are interacting. I have to admit, so far, my favourites to write conversations for are the main "hero" (anti-hero, maybe?) and the engineer, the engineer especially because he's got a great accent. I think tomorrow I should be able to hit the 15k mark or at least come very close to it.